Noticed that recently we have become more tired of communication with others? Even conversations with the closest can quickly tire. Why this happens, whether it is connected with the pandemia and whether we are in order?
Recently, for everyday communication, we have been taking more strength than before. Moreover, this happens with people of different ages – both twenty -year -olds and exchanging the fifth ten. This is evidenced by numerous posts in social networks, responses of colleagues and acquaintances, letters to the editorial office of Psychologies. What is it connected with?
Responding to each such request separately, you can go to talk about the individual characteristics of a person. You can find the reasons why specifically he no longer wants, as before, to conduct a peppy correspondence in Votsap or regularly call up with a girlfriend. Everyone has their own stressful factors: work, study, conflict with a loved one or completely age crisis.
However, if you collect individual requests in a single picture, a certain tendency is revealed.
We began to get tired of communication faster and stronger
But why right now? What reasons, in addition to personal, can affect us all? And is it worth it to worry about this? Psychotherapist Anna Reznikova helps to figure it out:
“Recently, among the requests that customers come to therapy, this is increasingly being found:“ It seems that I have been developing sociophobia – recently I have lost my desire to communicate with people ”. For many, this is really scary, because we are all social creatures, and few of us are actually a sociophobe. I always ask the question: “What, in your opinion, could serve as the cause?“In response, almost everyone shrugs and usually says that everything is fine: no one has quarreled with anyone, just strong fatigue, and then communication, which seemed to take away the last forces”.
Fighting in communication
“I seem to everyone impolite, but I stopped grabbing the answers in the messengers. Calling up all the more stressful, but easier to tune in and speak for 10 minutes, than constantly switch to correspondence during the day. It used to be easy, between it, ” – Elena, 45 years old
“The feeling that the paved fatigue has spread to the sphere of communication. Because I seem to want to communicate, but as soon as I start, the “battery” immediately falls on zero. It’s like I am unloading the wagons, and I do not listen to a person, ” – Sabina, 28 years old
Indeed, no matter how strange it may sound, many of us seemed to burn out in the field of communication. I only want silence, peace and loneliness. Someone sins on the “remote” (“we went wild” at home), someone-for an excess of information.
There are really many reasons, and all of them strongly depend on the person himself, but there is still one common, the psychologist believes. “The realities of modern life are such that we have to constantly communicate with our neighbors, colleagues, friends, loved ones. Poprazing one of my customers, we can say that we are constantly in a “communication bank”, from which we cannot get out, because the cover is closed tightly.
And it seems to have always been this, but we seemed to have noticed and began to talk about it as loudly as possible only now. And, probably, thanks for this can be said, including pandemia. After all, before we, thanks to Covid, turned out to be the most active participants in numerous changes, only the lazy did not talk to us about how the non -playing is important, how bad it is to be an introvert, and that without communication not to become successful.
This is all the case in many professions. And in general, sociable people are perceived as more friendly, open and useful. True, as always, there is one “but”.
Even the most sociable person has the right to get tired of this communication
Especially when anxieties for life and health (their own and loved ones), numerous news about the pandemic, difficulties with the differentiation of work and home life due to “remotes” are added to it. What can we say about those who, in principle, are not characteristic of a large amount of communication and who had to make an effort on themselves in order to match all the above claimed!”
External events and news flow
“At some point, I realized that I stop reading and even watching news and TV shows-I can’t. I thought I was working too much. But with the same load on the remote, when there is no constant small communication, it is easier for me. I am not a loner, I always loved meetings, heart -hearted. I love it now too – but with the closest and not for long. Then I get tired ” – Olga, 41 years old
“In principle, we are constantly getting tired, and this is absolutely normal, ”says Anna Reznikova. – to the standard and familiar moral and physical fatigue associated with work, fatigue is added from everything that is happening around us. Pandemia, experiences for health and well -being, numerous post -shoe symptoms – this and much more takes our resource, forces us to refuse to communicate. And now political, economic events that add even more anxieties ..
Add a large number of news (most often absolutely useless, but adding us emotional tension) – and there is a feeling that we are starting to sink under all this. As a result of a long psycho -emotional stress, which leads to the depletion of the nervous system, a person becomes indifferent. There is no resources for communication. And I want only one thing – as soon as possible to put on a life jacket in the form of silence and loneliness“.
Microcontacts
And if everything is clear with fatigue indicators, then about social networks and microcontacts, many have questions and surprise: why do they have so much affect our reluctance to communicate with people?
“My work largely consists of correspondence in chats, by e-mail, on Facebook-(an extremist organization banned in Russia), sometimes in one hour to talk with 10-15 people in 3-4 different messengers,” writes Sergey, chief editor of the informationPortal. -This process is so dense and unpredictable that I even sometimes specially start working for an hour or two before all colleagues in order to have time to do something that requires immersion.
Such a pace of communication leads to the fact that the feeling of time is lost
So you answered the first message in Telegram, you were asked about something else-and three working hours behind. A day passes, you are tired, the brain is overloaded, and if you ask yourself the question: “What I did today?” – then it is far from always possible to find a specific answer. Therefore, I try, like a Baron Munchausen, to plan one feat for every morning, before the start of a wave of communication. Close some big task or realize some idea.
The problem of such microcommunications is also that each of them almost always requires the adoption of some microtenerations. But the brain does not care, “micro-” or “macro-macro-macro” he accepts: the resource is spent the same. As a result, in the evening it happens that a simple choice, to eat for dinner, is too complicated. “.
The number of messages that we receive daily is calculated by hundreds, commented by Anna Reznikova. This includes numerous workers, personal, school, “Mama“, Family and God knows what chats, constant correspondence with colleagues and partners in various messengers, social networks, working and personal e -mail … All this requires our operational solutions. This is such a dense and viscous process that in the end there is a persistent feeling that although we get an incredible amount of information, our effectiveness remains almost at zero.
Social networks and information noise
The same applies to social networks. Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia), telegram, VK, classmates, Instagram … (an extremist organization
banned in Russia) on the one hand, it is fine: we are always aware of everything that is happening not only in the world, but also by a neighbor. However, on the other, the amount of information that we get every minute, simply opening a page on a social network, makes us choke. No wonder the term “information noise” has been highlighted in recent years.
Information noise is an unsent stream of unnecessary information that we are faced with every day. We cannot analyze everything that we perceive, and it seems that we even get used to such a life, but this info is taking our strength from us and at the same time almost nothing brings to us.
What to do?
Understand that everything is so with you, and give yourself time to rest. Try to explain to your loved ones and friends that you are tired and you need to be alone with you, recover.
Analyze your day, look at what you have the most effort and what can now be reduced or even removed from your life. For example, to reduce the time spent on social networks not at work, to temporarily delete or at least ignore those chats and groups that are now not particularly relevant, to reduce long conversations with colleagues about anything over a cup of coffee.
Try to put priorities in business and work and do what is really important at the moment.
Highlight for yourself the time that you will spend alone with you without a phone, TV, radio, newspapers and people. During this period, you can do what you want: lie down, play with a pet, read a book, walk, play sports, embroider a cross … The most important thing is to remember that this time is only for you and your restoration.
Sleep not 4-5 hours, but 8-10 hours a day, take a break from everyone and everything, go on vacation, get out to nature or just on the street alone with you. Do everything that will help you recover.
Without a twinge of conscience, say no to those from whom you get most of all. Perhaps this is a colleague or parents in the school chat of your child, who once again want to buy something.
Ask for help, delegate what you can – unload yourself as much as possible.
And most importantly: remember that fatigue from communicating with people is a completely normal state that each of us can experience.